Chosen

Can I fantasize?  I wish there was a scout that went looking here and there in every town.  Oh to be discovered!   It would be amazing to have someone pick you special to be on their team.  See something in you that would be a perfect fit for what they wanted to accomplish.  They would want to train you, invest in you, spend time discovering your strengths, want to help you develop your gifts and talents.  See something worthwhile.  Cast a vision you could both believe.  Treat you with respect and honor.  Coach you to greatness-both of you, everyone wins.

When I was in middle school, PE was my most dreaded class.  I would plead off with any excuse; sore teeth from getting my braces tightened, cramps or leaving my clothes at home, anything to get to sit out.   

Anytime teams had to be picked, the most popular, cutest, most athletic guys would be captains.  I would be one of the last two picked almost every time.  Pure agony and so embarrassing.   It got worse and more bruising the older I became.  The bruise became tattooed, engraved, a weeping wound sometimes.

This part of life prompts questions.  Do I have something to offer my world?  How do I do it? What does it look like?  Does anyone want it?  Is it good enough?  How do I find the niche? Will anyone endorse me?  Support me?  Promote me?  Pick me?  Choose me?

All around me friends are retiring after successful careers, getting certified and launching careers, hanging their shingles, living their dreams, getting speaking engagements, getting published, getting on best seller lists, selling their business, starting a business, being sought after consultants and counselors, in demand wedding coordinators and photographers, artists who make money doing what they love, musicians who teach and perform, people who have 

gifts and talents that are desirable.  

Whoa, breathe through the clinched down heart girl, it almost seized up there, writing that last paragraph.   See, I'm not on that list, or don't have a resume like that or notches on my stick, nothing that contributes so much significance to our world.  No framed certificate or license. No paycheck to validate and affirm. Not much proof, hard evidence or feedback that any ripples generating from my life touch, change, even matter in this big world.   

Saying all this brings me full circle. There is a small 'but'.  Because even though all of the above is true, I have had moments of extreme joy, pure worship, felt music seep into every pore, heard God laugh, danced with Jesus, been loved by a man who knows how to touch my deepest core, played with my children and been forgiven by all the above when needed.  Chosen, picked,  after all.