Artist at Play

Last summer was the first time seeing Kathy Hastings' encaustic photos. I posted about them, but had neglected to get up close. How could I have missed reaching out and touching them? We have been taught not to touch, but Kathy invited me to feel and see the layers and in between. 

She has a few heavy lines on her life's personal timeline. One marks before and after David died.

The other is before and after beeswax. The after, that came after both ~ changed everything. 

Beeswax resting hard. Beeswax melted warm. 

Below is a box of old mounted photos from the early days, before she started adding the encaustic process. 

They are nice, these orphaned and ignored first children, but Kathy's work has gone far beyond merely nice.

These textures and layers, seeing through them, under them, beyond each one to what lies on top ~ takes them from being nice, to alive. 

It was uncanny how warm the beeswax felt to my fingers. Perhaps it's the organic nature of the material ~ a living creature manufactured it. Silk, and Mexican sun-baked Saltillo tiles, give the same kinesthetic pleasure. My nose and camera lens got up close to the edge, where the action is. 

Kathy is a scuba diver and world traveler. She had/has a conch shell obsession. The symbolism, colors, and never ending variety of brokenness meet where her "insatiable curtiousity" (as Kipling would say), lives. This toppling tower of conch shell photos printed on deckle edged water color paper captivated me. She has a series of her favorites as finished encaustics. 

A photo is printed, cropped to size and mounted onto a prepared panel. 

Melted beeswax is applied. 

Torched smooth, melted on.

Another layer of beeswax.  

In between each layer, more texture and color is added. 

Everywhere I looked were collages of tools, and streaks of color. Odd bits of things were stacked and piled together ~ waiting to be picked. Noticed. Used. 

A stack of her Crossings series boxed and labeled, ready to be shipped. A church had ordered them in time to enjoy during Lent. 

 

Kathy has an astonishing array of musical instruments. The collection covers the map. 

Her jewelry collection also covers the map. 

She mostly loves paddling around in her kayak, meeting the big boys in the Seattle harbor at their own waterline. The rusty hulls of mammoth working ships give her fodder for her photos. 

She allowed me inside the drawers and colors of her home. Kathy has a hospitable heart. So does her art.

Kathy Hastings' maker's mark. It left an impression. Deep. 

Check out her website to see her new series ~ Waterlines. She says, ...."I'm literally (shooting from) where the water line touches the hull of the boat. The hull is hard. The water yielding. The surfaces touch, hard and yielding. The boat displaces the water. The water cradles the boat. If I'm the boat, who/what is cradling me? God's love, the love of God through others. I'm fascinated with the play of fluid next to the hard, the boundaries of the surfaces, the ship being held by the water."  

 When I first saw them I immediately thought of the chorus of Held, by Natalie Grant: 

This is what it means to be held

How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life

And you survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know

That the promise was, that when everything fell

We'd be held


Another new series is the Frio Suite, capturing the unique shades of green found winding along the Texas hill country near Laity Lodge. 

Old Wound

Blood colored tears  

(call it amber if you want

to stay cushioned from seeing

pain's trail) 

drip down

sticky with memories

along 

her rough barked skin 

where season by season

she 

valiantly

 tries to cover the 

wounded place

where the

pound 

pound  

pounding 

happened

Snowflakes

                                                                           

Snowflakes fall

covering

a black table

People walk past

fast

missing 

the cluster 

of crystals

shooting wonder 

into my veins

better than 

a caffeine hit in

the latte I came for

frozen ornaments

of falling grace

heap up 

in front of me

absorbing the bruised

blackness with

white light 

they land silent

delicate

frozen still

on my shoulders

others 

cling to my hair

kiss my face

whisper in my 

lashes

I 

see 

and 

love 

what 

I 

see

He likes it too 

that

I 

do

Time for Tom Waits

Every year at this time, this seasonal between time, I spin Tom Waits' song around and around in my head. You Can Never Hold Back Spring is reassuring me again. 

I was messing around trying to refine my skills at hand lettering today. Using thick, cold pressed, high quality water color paper, good ink, and a fine nibbed dip pen, I spent the afternoon making swirls. Trying to make them graceful and uniform was the point. It was practicing with a purpose for a project page. 

More than halfway through, the nib let loose a few blobs. I tried to blot them - unsuccessfully - away. Then my hand accidently rubbed across a still wet letter. Discouraged, I proceeded to finish what I had set out to do. I had wanted to make something pretty, but the results were already disappointing. 

As I filled in delicate spots with water color, it overflowed the outlines. Wait, messy wasn't supposed to happen this thoroughly!

Life is messy. I smudged up the rest of the letters to match. Now they are all uniformly messy. Mud always happens, in the spring that always happens. 

We were longing for it, weren't we? Get out your muck boots, friends. Hip waders for some of you. Wade through it. Get to the other side. There is another perspective. It looks pretty - from a distance.  

  

Slip Details

Eight rows tucked close 

decorating an invisible 

 basic undergarment - 

a slip - artfully trimmed.

Hand embroidered eyelet

by the yard around the bottom

part which drug hard in 

the mud and dirt? 

A skirt held up timely

gave a tantalizing glimpse

of shapely ankles - dangerous

to behold - feminine unmentionables.

A bustle in back gave her rump

                                                          a large lump.  

Deformed by tight corsets

her waist measured 

 slightly bigger than a 

CD

How could she breath 

or dance or run?

Hence vile smelling salts. 

Recently, I found this slip from the turn of the century at a thrift store for $2.50. It should be in a museum, but seemed unwanted. An orphan, waiting to be adopted. I obliged - gladly. The details always take my breath away. Every time.  They made their usable things beautiful and used their beautiful things until they wore completely out. Then they altered them. Repurposed them. iLike that. 

Lacy Bones

Lacy leavings left behind 

skeleton of winter 

soon erased by

spring 

Healing Pages

Lately, art journaling has been taking me by surprise, taking my breath away. iLove words. iLove art. Coupled, they send me. Once the page is prepped with layers and textures, feelings and thoughts seem to glue themselves down as if they find themselves, lost no more.  Mod Podge is truly Soul Glue like they say. This might be too raw and nekkid. Dim the lights and grace me? 

Doing It

I'm rereading Eugene Peterson's Practice Resurrection, a title he borrowed from Wendell Berry's Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front. 

"....the subject is 'growing up.' In dealing with something so critical and personal, so full of consequences for all of us, here is a surprise. This...places us in a cosmos in which God starts everything. Everything. There is not a single verb commanding us to do something, not so much as a hint or suggestion that we are to do anything at all. No requirements, no laws, no chores, no assignments, no lessons. We are born into a cosmos in which all the requirements and conditions for growing up are not only in place but in action."  

I couldn't go to sleep tonight, so grabbed the camera to find the bulbs popping up in our yard. Daffodils, crocuses, and specimen tulips are all practicing resurrection - in the midst of a dark, cold, wet winter's night.

They just do it. So also will I.

Tessa Past and Present

Many people have asked what is Tessa's story. We didn't really know she had one until recently when the patterns started repeating and the symptoms got more intense.

This last time we all believe her safety was in other hands, supernatural ones. She was not functioning normally.  Her drive from the Boise airport to her place was a miracle. The first 5 days she was gravely ill. It was terrifying to watch a limp, lethargic daughter laying there for days.

This is a brief medical history as we remember it:

Chief Complaint: Progressively increasing intensity of debilitating symptoms associated with flying as demonstrated by the following history.  (related from most current to present) These symptoms have not appeared during a flight. They usually start the day after a flight and linger.   January, 2011 Flight: Boise to Seattle Utilized pressure equalization with no ear pain. Post flight day 2:  fatigue, eye pressure, minimal nausea Day 3:  Space Needle Trip (650 ft in 43 seconds, 10 MPH).  Symptoms following were extreme fatigue, slow gait, no appetite, lightheadedness, blurry vision, pressure in eyes, inability to focus, disorientation, gait disturbance by that evening.  She asked if her eyes were bleeding? Eyes kept rolling around in a strange way. Day 4:  Woke up gagging, diarrhea, vomiting (dry heaves), felt disoriented. Flight scheduled that night to return to Boise.  Flight: Seattle to Boise 1/19/11 Inability to focus to find car/follow signs to exit.  Eye pain, Heart pain, and difficulty breathing.  Extremely blurry vision, felt like she was in a tunnel.  By the time she made it to the home of relatives, her skin was white and she was disoriented, pupils dilated, shaking uncontrollably. 1/20/11:  Following day:  extremely lethargic, slowed speech, difficulty responding to questions.  Aware of her surroundings but inability to respond.  Emotional lability, crying hysterically.  (This is contrary to her natural character).  Progressively non responsive.  Inability to eat or drink. Admitted to ER.  Treatment:  monitored her vitals, IV for hydration, anti-inflammatory meds and benedryl. Migraine RX recommended which we did not fill. - Hide quoted text - Treatment administered: Tylenol PM : 2 capsules on 1/20 Gaba  4 times/day, Adrenal support: 2 capsules 2x/day. Vit. C: 1000mg. TID Calcium/Magnesium Hydrated with water as able.  Response:  different pattern of healing this time:  This time her mind is clearing but bodily symptoms are slower. 1/23/11:  Still slow and sluggish motor coordination, decreased ability to coordinate vision, disconnect from her body. Update today, January 31. She went to work for 4 hours. Able to drive. She is connecting and coordinating better. Her tongue feels tight and clumsy when she tries to talk. Since she started to talk again, it has gotten more noticeable. Her left eye has continued to be scratchy, irritated, bruised, achy with pressure behind it.  Fall, 2008  Seattle to Hawaii Nausea, blurred vision, eye pressure, lightheadedness, disorientation, slow motor movement and speech.  Slow recovery upon return to home but kept working. Summer, 2007  Seattle to Mississippi No notable symptoms following this flight. Summer, 2007  Seattle to Austria (3 month stay) Day 2 post flight:  sick, lightheadedness, disorientation, blurred vision, inability to visually or mentally focus, body/brain disconnect, fatigue, needed to lie still and stay in quiet environment.  Saw a german MD but translation issues were difficult. Given antibiotics thinking it was an inner ear infection. Required 3 weeks to get back to normal. Flight home from Austria:  Similar symptoms occurred as described above.  Saw primary MD who suggested anti depressants.  Saw a psychologist for 6 weeks who determined it was not a mental health issue. Anti depressants meds were declined. Went to see a vision specialist:  negative results Short MRI performed:  Negative relults ENT:  Negative.  “He felt is was due to an over active imagination, too much salt?  and panic attacks. 2006, Seattle to Israel (2 week trip) Symptoms following:  extreme fatigue, nausea and vomiting, inability to participate in tour requiring bedrest. Lightheadedness, slowed movement and speech. Eye pain and blurred vision, confusion.  Tried Dramamine: seemed to accentuate her symptoms. 2005  Seattle to Austria (3 month stay) No significant symptoms noted other than fatigue. 2004 Seattle to Israel Symptoms:  Sick the 2nd day after arrival with lightheadedness, disorientation, lethargy and fatigue. 2003, age 14 Seattle to North Dakota Symptoms:  sick following flight with fatigue, ear pain and inability to depressurize ears.  Other PMH:  fractured clavicle at age 12 She isn't motion sick. She doesn't have vertigo. We have followed trails for possible altitude sickness/decompression sickness, or aerotoxic syndrome. Both were negative.  Tomorrow she has an appointment with an opthamologist - not to see if she needs new glasses.......   I'm staying with her this week until she is completely stable or we know something more. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers, please. :)

Linked

Family and friends ~ 

an eternal chain 

linked ~ 

forged together

 by 

history

memories

time

heartache

play

children

marriage

tragedy

laughter 

and tears.

Rusty spots need 

oiled with affection,

resurfaced with gladness,

sanded with gratefulness.

This strength

weighs heavy ~

a heaping pile 

of glory

able to tug

us 

upstream

 against

the 

current.