Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Applause for Uxurious Husbands

I've heard there are 
uxurious husbands.

These men show excessive
affection and devotion for

their wives. They are undone.
Amused. Charmed. The

wife of such a man is 
cherished and considered

precious. He lets her 
know when he's grateful,

and exactly how and why
he appreciates her. He 

isn't afraid to risk the 
vulnerability of showing

her the degree to which he is
 smitten by her sensuality, 

enthralled by her wisdom,
intrigued by her creativity,

amazed by her strength,
and dazzled by her beauty.

Her influence on him is considered
a welcomed gift, never a threat.

He seems blind to her limitations
and forgets to be offended.

He has her best interests at
heart and believes it's mutual.

It tickles him to indulge her silly
fancies, to care, to be interested.

He cheerfully dotes on her whims
and supports her dreams. 

He doesn't mind when other 
men define his submissive

fondness in derogatory terms like --
pussy-whipped, cuckold, sucker, 

whimp, or gullible pushover
whose wife has him by the balls --  

because he doesn't see their wives
looking at them with wanting 

desire in their eyes. He doesn't
mind when other men mock

his attentive, loving attunement
because he doesn't see their

wives reaching out to hold hands
or look big eyed at them like heroes.

He shrugs off the macho advise
about wearing the pants and

being the real leader of the home
because his foolish looking uxorious

ways gives him access as often as he
wishes to come inside her luxurious

secret garden and play. And
heal. And have intimacy. And be

the beloved of the beloved.

Craig and I just came back from a week long tent camping trip out on Sequim Bay. We took our bikes
in order to enjoy Discovery Trail. We averaged about twenty miles a day for 6 days. It was a relaxing, fun, restorative time. I noticed how much ease and enjoyment we have after 26 years together. I really, really like being with my friend and lover. I love to play together. I hope we have many years more to do so.

 I would credit The Gottman's work for giving us most of the tools we needed to get to this place. They mention the uxurious husband. I had never heard the word. When I researched it, it resonated with me and prompted this. I recognized him. He's mine and I am his.