Wednesday, December 24, 2008

My Present to Him

Yesterday, for the first time ever, I was able to write and articulate my spiritual journey.  Tried to be succinct.  I think testifying of God's goodness and our relationship shouldn't be about what happened 20 years ago, or 30 or 10 or 5, but catch up to when was my last 'now'. .......  Here goes:
My whole childhood and young adulthood were dunked and coated with what we could do to please God.  Or, what not to do in case it made Him mad.  Or what lines to color inside of to be 'right'.  Everything is so different now!   Knowing Jesus as God, experiencing His amazing and 
specific ways of loving on me.... 
Everything I am and do is simply a response to this....truly amazing grace.  I am most grateful and wonder why everyone doesn't feel like the favorite, the one reclining on His breast, the one sitting at His feet, the one who broke the alabaster box.  Saying this out loud isn't meant to be crude, but I would have wanted to make love with Jesus if I had been with Him on earth, and He would not been shocked or appalled!   He would have protected me and redirected my 
desire for intimacy to the spiritual, not just the physical, without shaming or embarrassing me! 

"True potent powerful authentic ministry flows from intimacy. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we're doing for the Lord that we don't have time for the Lord.  It just ain't right!  It just ain't right."  (Britt Merrick, who also quoted this below)  
Oswald Chambers says, "we slander God by our very desire to do things for Him, without really knowing Him."  
Tozer says, "We are called to an everlasting preoccupation with God."  That's what we're called to!  And from that primary relationship flows ministry and not the other way around.  Tozer 
says in "Whatever Happened to Worship" - "We have it wrong, what we do is we take converts and make them workers, what we ought to do is to take converts and teach them to be worshippers.  The work that is void of worship is destined to become wood, hay and stubble on the last day.  But work that flows from worship will have eternity in it.  We're to be worshippers first."  

In a nutshell, I'm a worshipper, I love it that God craves me and I love it that He craves me craving Him just as much!   That's all.  

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love this and feel I am in the same space! ss