Why do I long to be invisible?
Is it because long ago
long hair, long dresses,
and long sleeves
brought unwanted attention
during torturous school days?
Across my wide forehead,
unadorned by even the smallest
whisp of bangs, their puzzled
eyes etched words like
irregular and weird.
My ears and neck, wrist and hands
blushed hot, lacking teen bangles,
decoys I craved to distract them
from noticing my Puritan dress.
Revisiting school scares me. But
kind teachers and sages speak
into my recently awakened parts,
silently pronouncing me a
bonafide late bloomer.
Secretly I want to be invisible,
hoping they won't notice this
intense hunger to be learned
and whole, different
like everyone else.
Rabbi, please don't listen
to this lie. Notice when
I secretly brush up against you,
desperately clutching your
healing hem.
Catch me at it. Help me. Hold me up
while you spit erase and polish
away the issue. Make wholeness
visible holiness, because invisible is
not able to procreate.
15 comments:
Fabulous! Your gift for expression amazes me.
What would I do without the kindness of teachers and sages like that?
Tears. You hit a tender spot. Wonderful.
Beautiful, Kathleen. Thank you for sharing.
Tears fell here to.
Too.
Beautiful! I think it is more than the dress, I think it is that you might be an introvert also. I know men who feel the way you feel and they dressed like everyone else.
Yes anonymous, as an adult I realize what I felt might not be what was true.
Beautifully expressed.
Kathleen, I was anonymous as I forgot to write my initials. I'm not saying your feeling weren't true, I think feelings are feeling whether they are true or not we can't deny them. I was just saying there likely is more involved than just the clothes but the clothes would be a lot to bare being so old fashioned. Love you Kathleen! ss
Wonderful to find and read some on your blog today. I have fond memories of our time together. I appreciated all the goodies you've sent me thru the years. Have you written your life story all in one piece?
Miss Kathleen,
One of your best yet.
I wanna hug the girl that was you before the child of God you are now.
I've missed you. Lots. And oodles.
LOve,
Darlene
Just coming back to say how much I love the part: "Catch me at it."
This is beautifully expressed -- and so provocative.
Rabbi, please notice ... oh, yes.
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