I'm not very good at gifts. On the 'love language' scale of importance, gifts are last for me. They are not last for him. I am hopeless at finding the right thing, wring my brain for ideas but come up empty. Today is not any different than the other 20 years. He's coming home early today - how can I celebrate him?
I can make him meatloaf and mash potatoes? Let him unwrap me? Give him a kiss that will make him forget he doesn't have a present?
Tess is going to bring home an 'Uncle Seth's' pink frosted cookie for him. As masculine as Craig is, his secret is out now; he likes cupcakes and sugar cookies with thick, sweet frosting. A pink frosted cookie makes his dimples flash. The deeper the frosting is, the better.
Craig is an amazing man. He is innovative, his attitude is amazing even when he's in pain, he's creative, he is so generous, he's kind, he works harder than anyone, he's a good provider, he's empathetic, he listens well, he loves the girls and me with actions instead of meaningless words, he is self-effacing and mostly he's humble. He defines the word. Humble is not thinking less of yourself, it is simply thinking of yourself less.
There have been times when I have been angry with him for not being a risk taker, sad when he can't or won't dream big, hate it when he defaults to passive. I get irritated when he's mostly a 5 on a scale of 1-10. Laugh when he trips over himself and gets to a 4 or a 6! I tease him for his silence. I have berated him for not punching some one's face in. A few times I have almost emasculated him for not making me happy. (In the days when I thought it was his job?)I have been embarrassed by his stoic courage. I have been irate, a bitch, and all of the above, for the very things I dearly love about him and what attracted me in the first place! Go figure?
I could go on and on exposing my dark shadows. It is futile, for he has forgiven me and doesn't seem to remember.
The lovely truth is that he has steadfastly refused to be anything other than what he is. Thank GOD! I am more grateful than mere words can express.
He has earned my deepest respect and admiration over the years for his capacity to keep showing up for the job, day after day, rain or shine - whether for shepherding, blazing trail, loving, providing, sheltering, covering, doing battle for our hearts and souls, care giving, nourishing, nurturing, encouraging, coaching, applauding, showing grace, showing mercy, being tender, being a man of integrity, keeping his promises, being a true companion, knowing instinctively, against great odds - how to be a steadfast friend. Honorable. A gentleman in the true sense of the word. Agile in relationships. A trustworthy son, father, brother, spouse, friend, employee and neighbor. Playful. His laugh is fetching. If Craig supports you, endorses you-that loyalty stands forever.
I am the most blessed woman in the world and truly feel like the most beloved favored one.
Today, how can I make him feel like that? With actions instead of words? :)
These are our life songs. Lady by John Denver. Heaven by Bryan Adams. In Spite of Ourselves by John Prine and Iris Dement.
Now you know. If you ever get the opportunity to be loved by Craig, you are hugely fortunate. I really, really like him. All the time. Can't help it.
He seems invisible, unobtrusive......but the effect he has on the lives he touches is not.