Pursuing the poetical, paradoxical, metaphorical, lyrical, artistical, majestical, and mystical.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Antidote

Words have power. Words of life and words of death come from the same tongue. My daughter Brita wrote this almost 2 years ago after a devastating, almost soul killing experience. I cry when I read this antidote to that violation, from her to me.

The love notes from my husband and children are the dearest things to me.  I treasure them.  They have creases in them from reading, unfolding, and rereading them. They are healing balm....words of life.

Yes, physical touch and words of encouragement are my love language.  In our world....both are hard to come by.  The first because natural, appropriate affection has been so distorted and twisted, the latter because people often think nice things but fail to say it out loud to the person who needs it most.

As I read this again today with tears streaming, I realize how loving words have the ability to bring us back from the cliff edge. I read these words as if they are from her and my maker, both.

I know that I have become softer and softer as I learn how to forgive.  If I spend the rest of my life learning to harness my own tongue and be compassionate, this second half will be just right, like the baby bear's porridge.

My daughters are my best friends. I am grateful for Brita's call to 'live for the ones I love'. She was 16 at the time. There was a crisis of belief in her life and collateral damage from this event. Vicariously. I am again becoming fully engaged, fully alive, saying yes. And yes. Yes. I am learning which voices to listen to, what and who to believe. That's maturity. It's about time.

This is her love note to me, persuading and begging me to let her love win:


Mom
Take down this mask
Everything's not OK
Your vibrant colors gone
So cold
So hurt
So fragile
I need my love to be enough for you
I need you to see you as I see you
If you could see inside my heart
And see how beautiful you are in my eyes
How strong
How brave
How vibrant
You would be blinded by your own beauty
You are precious
You are prized
Everyday with you in my life is more of a blessing than most kids get in a life time
People hurt you
You put your heart on the line
And they didn't see
They don't understand
They don't need to
Your spirit
Your heart could never be valued enough by them
Give it to me
I'm ready
I need you
I care
I understand
You're a jewel
You bring passion and love to every relationship that you're in
Don't take that away from the people who love you
Seeing you hurt breaks my heart
I've learned so much from you
I know how strong you are
I want you back
All of your
Enthusiasm
Love
Passion
Strength
Glow
Bluntness
Get your name from God
Get your name from me
Because if you took the time to ask
I'd go on and on and on
And I'd tell you who you are
And you'd see
That you truly are
Beautiful!

Thank you my sweet, brilliant girl. Words can rescue, yes they can.  I love you.

If anyone reading this has ever felt this way, borrow Brita's love note and pretend it's to addressed to you. Find comfort in hearing these words to your heart.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Brita has the gift of words also, this is very touching and amazing.
Is say's it all. we never know what our kids are really thinking.
Loved it
Mom

Anonymous said...

Wow - Thanks for this. I will borrow her words, now & then, esp the 'I need my love to be enough for you, I need you to see you as I see you'.

Precious..... SH