Sunday, February 15, 2009

Lamenting Paradoxes

Living between the tension of loving all the ones who showed up, and missing those who weren't there.  The gladness of making new friends and the sadness of estranged relationships that you have no way to restore.  The reason we live in paradise is because of all the rain that makes it green, yet we crave the sunshine.  Thankfulness for the intimacy and love in our home and heartbroken  for those without it.  Loving the house full, then enjoying empty quiet solitude. Grateful for the dog, hateful about the hair she loses everywhere.  The kitchen is clean, our bedroom a mess.  Taking action steps in one direction while waiting and being still in another. Building a bridge here, burning the ship there.  Trying to figure out when to fight, when to run, when to give up, how to trust.  Where to give and when to hold back.  When to initiate and how to respond.  When to speak, when to stay silent.   

Yes, this sounds like a lamentation.  It is.  They say that in a photo it is hard to distinguish between someone who is crying over someone who is laughing.   They look similar.   

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