Saturday, March 14, 2009

Lavish Lover

It's pouring again with the kind of cold that makes your bones ache.  But my skin has a faint memory of the sun that kissed my skin at the river thursday.  Four hours of pure wonderfulness.  I actually had to ask the Lover of my soul to enlarge my capacity to be able to receive all of it. Almost couldn't take it all.  Over flow.  My cup runneth over.  Sustaining that kind of pleasure and joy for that long leaves you deliciously limp.  Better than a massage, sauna or making human love.  Whether you believe it or not, you are the bride of Christ and he is such a generous lover!  It must be hard for men to get the analogy, to be open and receive.........

Three ducks, a male and 2 females came floating down the river, then stopped to talk/quack treading water right in front of me.  It was so funny that I stopped reading and looked up to enjoy them.  I think the comic sight was actually heralding, getting me to look up to see this huge eagle swooping up the full length of the river that was visible to me.  He was so strong and sort of sprinkled some strength my way just watching him.  I could see his feathers individually and his eye!  I think he looked right at me!  

A robin couple pecked and scratched within 5 feet of me the entire time.  They would get up close then cock their heads curiously, nod, then keep puttering.  They weren't afraid of Maggie or me and Maggie didn't chase them or pay much attention to them.  Robins, ducks, eagles ~ gifts.   

It seems like it has been a long, dark cold, emotion filled winter, but not futile.  More like I've been in an incubator, and soon will hatch?  

For me, it has been a discipline to do the next right thing, to be on purpose thankful and grateful, to obey when I feel that nudge to move or give, instead of ignore it.  To choose to trust.  To laugh after crying.  To limit the crying, letting myself indulge, then getting to the other side.  

I have asked, requested and talked to God about many intimate things lately.  He tells me many intimate things.  Conversations, ruminating, wondering, answers, sometimes no answer and blessings upon blessings. Just because He wants to.  He likes it when I trust that I am loved with a great lavish love....and when He gives, it almost feels like you stop breathing for a minute, almost die and enter.....for a bit, heaven?  I'm thinking that if you don't like it down here, making love, you won't like it there either.  I really like being with Him.  A lot!  

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