Monday, March 9, 2009

Not Going Down

When I woke up and looked out the window and saw a couple more inches of snow this morning, pulling my covers over my head and sinking into black oblivion seemed like a good option.  Snow is pretty, but now green seems prettier!  It is sooo cold out and it seems like it has been a strung out long winter.  I don't want to complain, yet end up with whining yelps of frustration sneaking out.  

Tess was already at work, Brita is in Idaho, Craig is in North Dakota - no one at home to notice if I just gave in to it, but as I started spiraling down in a free fall, I ripped the cord just in time and landed safely in the shower instead.  I don't think any men read this, but if any women do - you'll understand maybe, how lazy I get about shaving in the winter.  Let's just say I really cleaned up - as if it was bathing suit, sun tanning weather!  Nooks and crannies that looked like I had been hybernating for months in places like Boulder, Santa Cruz, Berkley, Fremont or Olympia.  'Greener' places.  'Granolas' live comfortably with hairy armpits and soft furry legs. Places in Europe still totally except it as normal.  My humanity and femininity called for me to get a firm grip on that razor.

This streamlined approach to getting my body back, reclaiming it from tangled undergrowth made me feel so invigorated and restored that I couldn't wait to go try the sun bed for the first time this winter.  That made me smile so much from those fake UV rays and warmth that I got this urge to go do water aerobics.  

Even though I'm a mermaid and love water, I was sort of scared, as I've never done it.  And excercise isn't a fun word or thing for me.   But, I knew that the law of momentum is something that is moving keeps moving....whereas something stopped stays stopped.   I was moving and wanted to keep going. And I was all smooth and pink!  

The class was full of beautiful old, out of shape, saggy, people.  Like the velveteen rabbit after he became 'Real'.   They smiled with such encouragement, made a spot for me and helped me with some moves when I didn't know how. I felt young, vibrant, capable, gorgeously firm, supple, energetic, and playful.  I fell in love with my real teeth all over again.  Started noticing things to be grateful for - thick hair, a heart that worked well, circulation that pinked up my skin, and realized that my size wasn't the largest, my droops weren't the worst after all.  I felt part of normal, an unfamiliar feeling of fitting in.   

The smile never did leave my face the whole entire hour.  Cramps in my cheeks were starting to set in from smiling.  Betty, who is 90, was singing along, "when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore....." at the top of her voice.   Which made me almost cry, as that was my grandma's song and she sang it with gusto and delight just the same, any time she felt the urge for a fresh new outlook on life....  


Kandi said...

Kathleen! refreshing your writing! I love it...I can just see the lady singing at the top of her lungs! What are you doing for your birthday?

KoverB said...

You really encourage me Kandi!
I get to go get Craig Wed. night/Seatac - for the best birthday present ever. We love being together and love being separate because of the 'delicious missing' that happens which leads to delicious kissing when we see each other again! :)

Anonymous said...

It is midnight and I was going to walk right on by my office and not check my computer this time. but after turning down my bed I came back in to see what you had written. Of course I have tears running down my face and a smile on my face.
The girls have been in the water most of the day, 2 hours at Miracle hot springs, then a shower, at least two sessions in the pool and hot tub, lots of flash bulbs going off and lots of splashing. then I think they finished off the night in your favorite bathtub downstairs.
They are sweet girls and very mellow. I told them it is there vacation do what you want.
good night

KoverB said...

You remember Grandma singing that, huh? and her little giggle and wiggle as she shuffled her feet?

The girls must be waterlogged!

Kent, Melisa,Tiana (and Coda) said...

Brought tears to my eyes, too! Must be a woman thing! An inspiration to move on with the thing I least want to do!! Thanks! Oh, and a VERY happy birthday tomorrow!! :-)