Why are people who have listened countless times and enjoyed his music embarrassed by that fact? Why can't the parts of his life that could be celebrated be celebrated. He wasn't all anything, like we aren't.
One of my favorite ruminatings, quotes from others:
We think the opposite of bad is good, when actually the opposite of bad is loved.
We think the opposite of sin or missing the mark is virtue when actually the opposite is actually faith.
Isn't this a huge relief folks! Huh? I am so glad I don't have to stand before these people who are having a flesh tearing, stoning, good riddance party when I die. I get to stand before the One who made me, accepts me, chose me, forgives me, wants me, likes me and is quite fond of me .....just like I am. He sees me pure and clean and good. Because I simply asked and believed.
For someone to make the drastic decision to take their life, it simply seems like the last resort. A solution. "Surely now, everyone will be happy, glad I'm gone. I will be free from the pain of living this life."
These strong opinions about him are formed only upon opinions, gossip columns, photo journalism and documentaries, footage, films. Not one person who has expressed a rabid opinion of him has ever spoken with him, ate with him, watched him parent, been in his home, saw his agony, loneliness, pain, broken heart, broken dreams. He could not do anything right, no matter what. Being misunderstood, misrepresented and misquoted could make a person crazy. And you just dig yourself in a deeper hole. Only when we know what makes someone hurt, someone cry, do we finally love them.
I wish the compassion we neglected to show him in life could be shown in death. Come on! We want compassion so much ourselves.
I read some time ago, and wish I could credit the author about the time Michael 'dangled' his baby over the balcony. It was inappropriate and somewhat dangerous and yet, his intention wasn't to put his child in danger. His strongest need and desire was to lessen the distance between the fans and the child. He was trying to connect in some way.
I think I ache because who of us hasn't parented badly, without premeditation? We just don't have the world taking pictures, watching and giving us feedback. We don't have a trial. Our lives aren't under the microscope 24/7 or at all.
I hope Michael is curled up in Jesus' lap right now having a private moment of bliss. One of his first. He doesn't have to pay for it. I hope Jesus has his hands on either side of his face, is looking into his beautiful brown eyes while saying, 'you are completely loved and welcome, Michael' I hope he is finally home, resting his weary heart, escaping once and for all the snapping at his heals, snarls, traps, money mongers, photographers, criticisms, judgements and
pain. I hope all his tears are dried gently. I wonder if Jesus will show him the bottle of tears that the angels collected.
If he wanted to spend eternity in heaven, forgiven, loved, wanted, craved, enjoyed, worshipping his maker with song and dance, we don't know, but Michael had some moment in time to choose. That's 'what's so amazing about grace'.