Life has happened instead. Maybe I didn't have the guts, the money, the will, the reality part down. I could blame it on Craig. Maybe it was all sentimental mush and the achingly hot tears were wasted and soon enough forgotten?
And yet, life isn't over for me, maybe the second half will see a few of these dreams come true, I don't know. Maybe just supporting with money is my part. Maybe I'm addicted to the fantasy/romantic idea of such an adventure and not the hard part of the reality?
Our neighbor boy is in first grade. He greets me almost everytime I leave in the car and runs over to greet me as I return. Yesterday, I asked him if he like stories, books read to him. He said no. I persisted and asked if he would like to sit on the porch swing with me while I picked a couple books to read to him. He snuggled right up as close as he could and didn't make a peep or wiggle much while we got lost in the first two.
He got distracted when his neighbor friend, 'Bubba', who is a little smaller and younger started riding his bike in the cul-de-sac. He wanted to know if Bubba could come and listen too. As soon as I said yes, he slammed the 2 books shut, hollered to invite Bubba over and begged me to start over so he wouldn't miss out. Bubba had to sit on the other side, he wanted to be next to me and wouldn't share his spot.
Today, they both shyly came over and asked if I could read some more to them. I was in the middle of weeding, watering, and had plans to clean house as soon as I was finished outside. I almost said, 'not today boys'. Important stuff was needing done, sheesh!
The one thing I'm a sucker for is a child who wants a book read to them. I simply can't resist! We ended up on the porch swing, a boy on each side with me in the middle, happily having story time. Sunshine rays circling the shade. Contentment lapping at my heart.
Africa, India, leper colonies, medical ships, relief work are all quite exotic and I'll never stop dreaming of them, but when a child can't wait for you to turn the page.......it's more than enough right at this moment, today.