Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Sowin' Love...

Earlier this morning, I wrote a very convoluted, badly put together furious 'parable'.  It was like one of David's psalms where he wants his enemies to get their teeth crammed down their throat and wants justice; but not as poetical- choppy, dislocated and all over the page.......because I get SO MAD!  But underneath the mad is hurt, and empathy for others who have felt the bruising sting.  Mad that there is no justice,  angry that there isn't anyone to put a stop to it.  Pissed that no one will talk about it or address it directly. Frustrated because it isn't and wasn't all bad - hating the good memories, trying to crush the little seed of hope that maybe there will be change, restoration.  

And more than anything else, confused by the fact that in spite of everything, I have grown tremendously and used the pain to create amazing beauty; pain as fuel?  Hmmmm...... 

It is a balmy summer evening, and as I count my blessings and look around in awe, noticing the
wonderfulness oozing out of me, our home, yard, off the page of the book I'm reading......
my mad has disappeared because love has replaced it and filled me up completely.  Thanks to both the Lover of my soul and the amazing man who consistently and generously makes love to my body, mind, heart and spirit.  Love kills the noxious weeds and lets the flowers bloom.  I really do want to bloom! 

Sometimes for me, it takes a flame burner, Roundup, Vinegar, Salt and black plastic to all have a go at the same time to get rid of the toxic, noxious weeds in my mind.......   


3 comments:

laurie@learningforliving.com said...

I get it....thanks for sharing your heart...sounds like peace, in the form of love, came out of that which you could not control...keep on bloomin'...I love the aroma, the intricacy, the extraordinary colors, the nourishment that comes to me from your blooming...

Kathleen Overby said...

You've been such an encouragement Laurie, years and years of it!

Em said...

reading this months later...so encouraging to me. thanks, pal. love you.