Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Laying It Down

Books seem to jump off the shelf and into my arms, with perfect timing, exactly when I'm ready to receive what they offer and able digest it with any understanding.  The last time it happened was few weeks ago.  It was "Disarming the Narcissist" by Wendy T. Behary, which landed with precision and perfect timing.  

People I love have been hurt by me being one, and I have been hurt also. Then there are people in my life who have 'disarmed' me by loving me enough to be honest, hold up the mirror while staying committed.  They cushion me while I do the hard workout of taking responsibility and owning it.  

In movies, I always feel tense when the good guy carrying a gun is pointing at the bad guy with the gun, trying to force him to lay down his gun.  Sometimes the good guy tricks him into it. 

The best scene is when some noble, brave, courageous person walks up without any tricks up his sleeve and gently persuades the bad guy to give it up and he trustingly is able to.  He might have some consequences, but he also has a future. 

This book was pointed and honest, yet offered hope for a graceful future.  Squirm if you need to, I did; then untie these gifts.  Use them, wear them out!  


*The art of mutual respect is an expression of the gift of generosity. 
*The art of self-disclosure is an expression of the gift of courage. 
*The art of discernment is an expression of the gift of truth. 
*The art of collaboration is an expression of the gift of shared effort. 
*The art of anticipating clashes is an expression of the gift of foresight. 
*The art of apology is an expression of the gift of responsibility. 
*The art of reflective listening is an expression of the gift of balance. 

from "Disarming the Narcissist" 

1 comment:

Auntie Joanne said...

I enjoyed your quotes from the book "Disarming the Narcissist." Another book you might enjoy reading has to do with learning the skill of reflective listening. It's called "Please Listen to Me! A Christian's Guide to Reflective Listening" by author Dick Fetzer. It's an easy read that challenges Christians to practice a skill that effectively demonstrates compassion for others as well as shares the love of Christ. Find it at almost any online bookstore (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Christian, etc.) or from the publisher's website at
To learn more about the book, visit the author's blog at
God bless!