People I love have been hurt by me being one, and I have been hurt also. Then there are people in my life who have 'disarmed' me by loving me enough to be honest, hold up the mirror while staying committed. They cushion me while I do the hard workout of taking responsibility and owning it.
In movies, I always feel tense when the good guy carrying a gun is pointing at the bad guy with the gun, trying to force him to lay down his gun. Sometimes the good guy tricks him into it.
The best scene is when some noble, brave, courageous person walks up without any tricks up his sleeve and gently persuades the bad guy to give it up and he trustingly is able to. He might have some consequences, but he also has a future.
This book was pointed and honest, yet offered hope for a graceful future. Squirm if you need to, I did; then untie these gifts. Use them, wear them out!
*The art of mutual respect is an expression of the gift of generosity.
*The art of self-disclosure is an expression of the gift of courage.
*The art of discernment is an expression of the gift of truth.
*The art of collaboration is an expression of the gift of shared effort.
*The art of anticipating clashes is an expression of the gift of foresight.
*The art of apology is an expression of the gift of responsibility.
*The art of reflective listening is an expression of the gift of balance.
from "Disarming the Narcissist"