Pursuing the poetical, paradoxical, metaphorical, lyrical, artistical, majestical, and mystical.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Losing the 'list'

We hadn't been married 10 years yet when Craig came home exclaiming over a radio program he had heard, probably Focus on the Family or something.

 On it, an older gentleman who had been married for 70 years or so was asked what the secret to his happy and successful marriage was.  He told how before his wife and he were married they were counseled to write a list of 10 things that really irritated each them about the other person, keep it, and over the years decide on purpose to forgive each other ahead of time for those things.

On the honeymoon, fur was flying and he was so annoyed at something she did, so he looked for that list, knowing that if it was on it, he had to forgive her, carte blanche!  He could not find the list.  It was really truly lost.

From the time of their honeymoon till end of their marriage, when his wife did something that really bugged him or irritated him, he would say to himself, "Well, it must be one of those things on the list" and he would forgive her.   

Craig 'lost the list' on me long ago.  It gives me room to know true sorrow that brings about repentance and change.  It's good soil to thrive and grow in.  He's got the technique refined - I'm still trying to pass 'kindergarten' on that one!   

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